Can't Find Me,

so i haven't been blogging, but i have to tonight. my friend Boadi is trying to find my blog, and i hope he doesn't but he won't. that is all.

Is it really that obvi?

Today I had two classes one at 9, and one at 10. Normally I would have a lab but they cancelled it. So I was done by 11, and I went to lunch with two friends, of course i got a salad, because yesterday I started my cleanse, where I can only eat fruits and veggies, and only drink water. I got my salad, and ohmygoodness it was absolutely amazing. Even though it didn't have any sort of meat, croutons, noodles, it was good. So we sat down, ate, did a little talking, and just relaxed. At this time I am also running for complex council secretary, so we talked about the election and how I hope I win. I'm not sure I will, but I can only hope. Through that we came onto the topic of crushes, because one of my friends, we'll go with M, she mention she had a side crush. (Side crush: a crush that only appears when they are near the, you'll flirt with them when with them, but they don't really cross your mind when not.) She has one on our friend T, but it's just when we chill not like a real one. So I told her don't worry I have a crush too. She asked "Do I Know Him?" my other friend K. responded with "Yes" M goes through our two first guy friends T & A, and we say no, she tries to say Smiles' name, so K says it. M is like "oh I knew it you should go for it!" but I don't think I should. I tell her of my reasons not to, and she says "you should it's not like he wasn't flirting with you" and all I can say is "no he wasn't" so she demonstrates that he was always touching me and playing around with me on K. & I still can't think it's true. All I could think about though, is am I that obvious that I have a crush on him? Is it obvious to everyone? Does that mean that he knows? & if he does, does that mean that he's going along for fun? or because he likes me too? I just don't know. I guess I'll figure it out eventually.

- Serena, The Lost College Girl.

Tonight Alive - The Other Side (Track by Track)

this is one of my favorite bands & this song is absolutely amazing. it's totally relatable. check it out.


- Serena, The Lost College Girl

Laundry

I don't understand why the best wifi is in the basement/laundry room but it is. This morning after my whopping 5 hours of sleep I woke up and came to the conclusion that I should do laundry. I mean it's Monday/LaborDay people are barely getting back to campus today. So I might as well take advantage of the availability. Of course when you do laundry here you have to bring your laptop to occupy yourself. I did, bought a couple songs on iTunes, looked at PupFresh to get the latest music news, and of course checked my college email. Yeah, real exciting... but even when I'm occupied my mind is still thinking about the sophomore that has caught my attention, let's give him a nickname. One that's not too obvious, we'll call him Smiles. He's always smiling, so it fits him. I didn't see him all day yesterday. I was supposed to give him some food that I bought to make in my dorm, but I ended up not wanting it. I think that's why I'm bothered, because I don't see him everyday. I see him like maybe twice a week. This is my problem, I just wait till the next time I see him, and that is never known. UGH! I have officially become the girl who came into college and fallen head over heels in like (yes, I said like) with a guy that will never reciprocate the feelings. It is what it is. It's 11:15 am, my laundry is done so I will sign off and continue my day. Hopefully I won't just think of him.

- Serena, The Lost College Girl.

What Am I Doing?

This Thursday I will have been here at college for three weeks, and I'm digging it. Yeah, I just said digging. I love the atmosphere, the people, and the freedom. Last night I got back to my dorm at 4:30 am, and there was no one there to yell at me or ask why I was out so late. It's not like i was doing anything bad anyways, but still. All we did was go bowling, play Never Have I Ever, and somehow we got through a entire game of monopoly. It was nice. The night before I didn't even come home, I fell asleep at my friends and returned at 10 am. Though all this is fun I have jumped off the deep end and become smitten for this sophomore that lives in the same complex. This is where the title "What Am I Doing?" comes from, because I have no idea. I came into college with the mindset that I'd have a fun, carefree freshman year.... well that changed quickly. I did not want any kind of relationship, but I can't help but want one with this guy. He's polite, funny, nice, and has impeccable fashion taste. I know it sounds way to good to be true, but he's real. Though why he would ever like me runs across my mind. Because in my mind no matter how much everyone tells me that they can see us flirting, I just think he's being nice. I'm not good/pretty enough for him. And i'm definitely not his type, but he's not mine either. In fact he is the complete opposite of what I look for in a guy. He doesn't have colored eyes. He doesn't listen to rock/alternative/indie. He isn't six foot tall. But I don't care about that anymore. It's weird I've always had this list, but with him I'm willing to throw that list out the window. It will not matter though. Like I said why would he ever like me, I'm just a mediocre freshman. I'm also pretty sure he knows too, and is too nice to tell me anything, or maybe he knows and just wants to mess with me. He can tease me about the littlest things and my face will become red. Of course he can't just leave it at that, so then he'll say "Awh how cute you're face is red!" Then I'll tell him to stop, but he doesn't. Even my new college best friend has trouble figuring him out. She says "I honestly can't tell if he is flirting or being nice, because he pays you the most attention but it could just him being nice." I don't know, but i do know is that I am just gonna let it play out. I'm not going to over analyze anymore. If it happens.. awesome. If not.. well I'll just get over it. 

- Serena, The Lost College Girl.